Normal', what's that?
by W.Kathy
Summary: Naruto has never been normal, not with a hardcore yaoi fan for a Grandma, a super-pervert Grandpa who write erotic literature and a fox who claims him as a human pet. But he didn't know his life would become even crazier with the arrival of a new classmate - Sasuke Uchiha. AU. Pairings: SasuNaru, Many x Naru
1. Naruto Uzumaki

'Normal', what's that? 

A/N: This is an AU fic, there are no ninjas, no jutsu, but there are other supernatural stuff. 

Warning: There will be male/male pairings, and it will be Naruto x Sasuke and Naruto x Others (Yet to be decided)

"_There's no such thing as normal; it's all a matter of perspective." _

Chapter 1: Naruto Uzumaki 

When I was young, people liked to ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" No matter how many years have passed since then, my childhood dream remained the same – I want to be normal. Sadly, that was something I have yet to achieve even though I'm almost an adult now.

Maybe the reason I couldn't be normal is due to my weird (understatement really) family. Let's start with the person with the most power and age in the Uzumaki Household – my Grandma, Tsunade.

My Grandma is the mayor of a small but well-populated town named Konoha. In fact, her Grandfathers were the ones who founded the town. So it was no surprise that my family was seen as royalty of sorts by the townspeople, and I was their 'prince'.

You may think that growing up in such a privileged household meant that I was given the best of everything the world could offer. Unfortunately, that was certainly not the rosy picture my life paints. You see, my Grandma was a gambler, and a terrible one at that, so bad that everyone calls her 'The Legendary Sucker'. Behind her back of course, for nobody would be foolish enough to do that in her face, unless they want a one-way trip to the moon by way of her powerful fists.

Her gambling was so bad that we were often in debt, though due to her position in town the debt-collectors were rather polite when making their endeavors to retrieve payments. If it wasn't for my Grandpa, I think we would have had to sell the house and live in Grandma's office.

My Grandpa, another legendary person with the nickname 'The Legendary Super Pervert", is Jiraiya. He is well known for those ero-books he writes. Out of curiosity, I have read one of them and I don't understand the appeal at all. But it doesn't matter if I like those books or not; for others, many many others like them, so Ero-Grandpa has quite a nice income to balance out Grandma's gambling debts.

My Aunt Shizune is another strange person in the family. She is a wandering doctor that goes around healing who she deems worthy of her services. And she has a pet pig named Ton-Ton that follows her everywhere – even to the bathroom. Depending on her mood, she can be as sweet as a nightingale or as evil as the devil. Aunt Shizune is definitely a person I don't want to anger.

Well, that's all for my family members. My parents? I don't have any. Mama died giving birth to me and she never did reveal to anyone who my father was. All I knew is that he must have had the blue eyes that I inherited from, for nobody else in the family had blue eyes.

Ouch! Don't bite me Kyu-chan! All right all right! I'm sorry I forgot to include you!

Kyu-chan, the little fox that just bit me, is my pet. She would probably disagree and say that I'm her pet human instead. I met Kyu-chan many years ago when I was just a kid, and I'm still surprise at how she abandoned her natural habitat and followed me home on a camping trip I had in the local forests.

I think she's attracted to my hair. She has the tendency to chew on strands of my blond hair and her favorite resting place is the top of my head. It's good neck strengthening exercise to let her rest there, I suppose. And it's a good thing she's not that heavy.

So why do I want to be normal? Well, you know what they say, one always crave the thing they don't have. And 'normal' is one thing that's sorely lacking in my life.

It isn't normal to grow up dressed in pink and cute clothing meant for girls when I am a boy, right? And it's not normal that my Grandma is such a hardcore yaoi fan that she legalized same sex marriage in Konoha, even somehow getting the President of the country to agree to her whims.

And it's certainly not normal that I didn't even know my true gender until primary school during health class – I think I made top headline in the news that day when the school doctor found out that I was male, despite the pastel pink dress I was wearing, the long blond hair and sky blue eyes framed in thick dark lashes that suggested otherwise. Many people have called me a 'bishounen', but I really don't see how I can be defined as a pretty boy. I'm not! Really!

Well…I guess I'm a little on the short and slender side, but that's not all that uncommon. Lots of people are short and slim. Anyway, once I'd discovered my true gender, Ero-Grandpa wasted little time in educating me in the ways of a 'true man'.

Other children grew up on picture books of fairy tales; I grew up on porn literature. Peers my age giggle about the word 'sex', I hear the word so often that I don't really have much of a reaction to it. And the thing that most boys in puberty are obsessed with – boobs? I have no interest in that at all.

If your Ero-Grandpa engages you in helping him research and edit his porn books everyday, I guarantee you will soon become numb to seeing naked bodies of the fairer sex. There can be such a thing as too much boobs. Seriously, I mean it.

By the time I was a hot-blooded teenager getting ready for college, all I was excited for was to get out of this crazy household. I even suspected I was asexual for a period of time, until I discovered that I wasn't as impotent as I thought when I met Sasuke.

Sasuke Uchiha, the moody dark-haired boy my age, transferred into my class during the last year of my high school. There were so few young people in Konoha that his arrival was a huge deal. My classmates made a fuss over the new guy, especially the girls who were whispering 'Fresh Meat" in the back of the class, with maniac glints in their eyes. Once the last bell rung, they descended upon Uchiha like zombies upon their prey…I gave in to my urge to escape in case I became one of causalities during their madness.

Dashing out of the classroom, I was felt someone following close behind. It was Shikamaru Nara, one of my neighbors and childhood friend that my Grandma had attempted to *_shudders_* pair me with when I was a kid. Fortunately the Naras, though laidback, were also a sensible, smart bunch. They managed to turn down her offer of "Let Naruto be Shikamaru's bride" without offending her.

The two of us ran out of school and after giving each other a nod, went out usual separate ways. Shika usually meets up with his girlfriend Temari after school while I went home to do something I'm not very good at – studying. I'm not stupid; I just don't like studying very much. But if I want to get out of the evil clutches of Yaoi-fan Grandma and Ero-writer Grandpa, I've got to get grades good enough for a college out of town. And that means…yup…time to hit the school books again. Sigh…

The next day, I went through my usual morning routine, said goodbye to Kyuchan, and left for school. There was a crowd of fangirls cooing and gushing at the new kid's desk, which I carefully avoided. I wouldn't want to catch whatever they were having. Dumping my bag next to my desk, I went out to a nearby vending machine to get some milk – maybe it'll help make me taller.

Inserting the only coins I have into the machine, I was about to press on the button for my choice of drink when a pale hand intercepted and pressed on 'Tomato Juice" instead. What the hell?!

Turning around, I came face to face with the new kid, so close that I could see the tiny bits of silver in his onyx eyes and feel his minty breath on my lips. My heart pounded furiously and I was so shocked by his actions that I simply froze. The bastard was trapping me to the vending machine using his slightly taller and bigger body, and arms on both sides of my head. And where the hell does he think he was putting his leg on!

My entire face flushed red as I felt his knee nudging me between my legs in a very sensitive area. The part that was asexual all of my seventeen years in life until this moment, where blood was rushing first to my face, then gushing down south to a part I've always thought was in a coma or something. Oh no, it was not asleep, not at all if the twitching in my pants was any indication of this strange, untimely awakening.

The cause of my awakening leaned forward and put his wet lips (he must have been licking them, I registered in the back of my mind) next to my ear, whispering one word in a husky voice that changed my life forever.

"Mine".


	2. Sasuke Uchiha

Warning: There will be male/male pairings, and it will be Naruto x Sasuke and Naruto x Others (Yet to be decided)

"_There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."_

Chapter 2: Sasuke Uchiha

Sasuke Uchiha isn't exactly what you would call 'normal', not even among his kind. His appearance was captivating, however, also dangerous. It was like staring at the sun, something so bright you can't help but be attracted to look at it, but if you stare at it for too long, you risk going blind.

He had silky, raven colored hair tied neatly up in a low ponytail and mysterious dark eyes that shone like the onyx, with pearly complexion that would make most females jealous. And his body, what a fine one it was, sculpted like one of those fine art pieces in Louvre.

Having such beautiful features did not make Sasuke happy. It brought unwanted attention, something that was abhorrent to one as reclusive as him. In fact, he can't remember the last time he actually had a conversation with another living creature, ever since the last person in his family, Itachi, just upped and left with any notice centuries ago.

He hoped Itachi died a horrible death in a fire somewhere, that heartless, inconsiderate jerk. How dare that idiot brother of him turned him into a vampire in the guise of saving him from a serial killer, spend a short one hundred years training him to be a 'proper Uchiha', then buggered off to the-devil-knows-where!

Tearing into his prey angrily as he was once again reminded of Itachi, he sucked out every single drop of the weasel he had spent barely a minute hunting. Not his favorite meal, but it served as a decent snack until he could find a larger warm-blooded creature.

This was one of the things that other vampires would deem to be abnormal about him – Sasuke do not hunt humans as food. For some reason, the thought of drinking human blood repulse him and though he had tried, he just couldn't bear even swallowing a small mouthful of human blood.

Being an immortal that had lived for hundreds of years and experienced many, many things, Sasuke never believed in God, just like he never believed in the nonsense others called, 'Love at First Sight'.

However, a single meeting with one person changed his beliefs and shook his world. For it would have been divine intervention that made him help save another vampire, something he had stopped doing years ago since he learnt a harsh lesson that you can't save everyone.

It was a miserable, wet day, typical weather in this part of the world. Sasuke was minding his own business, strolling down the empty streets in the dark of the night when an argument between voices he recognized as his own kind caught his attention.

Two male vampires were trying to catch hold of a slippery female one that was evading their holds. One of the larger males shouted, "Stop your futile struggles and come with us, Alice. Aro has been following your trails for years, you would not be able to escape the Volutri!"

"Never! Go to hell you damn lapdogs!"

Now, if it was the usual Sasuke, he would have left the vicinity and avoid getting tangled up in this scene that simply screams trouble in capital letters. However, something in his gut told him that this female vampire was a piece to the puzzle in his life…what puzzle he don't know; he just knew that he needed to intervene now before it's too late.

Silently, he leaped towards the male vampire closest to him and tore off his head with a strong right grip. The female vampire easily took out the other male, who was distracted by the sudden attack. Piling the pieces together, Sasuke lighted them up and destroyed the two vampires.

"Thanks Sasuke!"

He stared at the stranger, how did she know his name when they have never met before?

"Oh, I've seen you before in my head!" She answered cheerfully, reading the question in his eyes.

"Explain." And so she did. Apparently the female he had just rescued was a seer, and thus knew Sasuke from one of her visions. She also gave him the missing piece he didn't even know he was looking for.

"Your mate is in Konoha, his name is Naruto Uzumaki and he is seventeen years old. Oh you're going to love him!"

Shooting Alice a disbelieving look, she continued.

"Come on then, use your 'Sharingan' to look into my mind." That convinced a skeptical male vampire that Alice was indeed a seer. Not many knew about the powers his 'Sharingan' gave him, and certainly not a stranger he had never met before this day.

Activating his ability to its first level, he searched for the vision about his soul mate in Alice's mind.

_(Start of vision)_

_Sasuke was standing in what seemed to be a school for humans, evident by the structured rooms with rows of desks and chairs, with blackboards in the front. The classroom he had walked into was empty save for a human male standing near one of the windows with his back facing the vampire. The sun was setting and what little light that went through the windows shone upon the slender human figure. He had spikey hair like the finest gold, and a heart shaped face that was turning to look at Sasuke. _

_Eyes the exact shade of a clear, unpolluted blue sky focused its attention on the vampire. The human, no, such an angelic looking creature couldn't be a human, he smiled and Sasuke felt the cold hollowness that had been haunting his heart for centuries lift, as a strange unknown emotion trickled gently into his soul. It was a warm feeling, something that started from his chest and spread to the rest of his immortal, venom-filled body. He almost felt alive again, as all his senses amplified and focused on the sight, scent, everything about this wonderful being smiling at him. _

_At the moment, Sasuke Uchiha finally understood what other people said about 'Love at First Sight', for this can be nothing else but love, and this lovely being can be nobody else but his mate, the part of his soul he didn't even know was missing. _

_Sasuke noticed that his blond haired angel had three faint horizontal lines on both his cheeks, and a surge of anger made him want to destroy the person responsible for scarring his mate. Just as he was about to reach out to touch his mate's face, he was flushed out of the vision abruptly. _

_(End of vision)_

"Calm down! Your anger is causing my brain to hurt! Gosh relax Romeo, those are not scars, they are birthmarks, so no need to go on a killing spree now, okie dokie?"

"…Fine. My thanks for sharing your vision, I must go now."

"Shame he left so quickly, I didn't even have the time to warn him…well, he'll find out soon enough I suppose. He's not the only supernatural being that cute little blond is going to attract…" Alice giggled mischievously at the thought of the stoic male vampire competing with others for his mate's attention and love. It's gonna be fuuuuuuun!

And that was how the three hundred year old vampire who had been wandering all over the earth for centuries finally settled down in the small town of Konoha. As he got the paperwork finalized and began his first day at Konoha High School, a gorgeous scent caught his attention and lead him to his first encounter with the person who would make his life complete.

The vision was nothing compared to the real thing, thought Sasuke as he gazed adoringly upon his soul mate, Naruto Uzumaki. The blond-haired angel was standing in front of a vending machine, head tilted cutely as he inserted coins into the contraption.

_Oh yeah, I would like to insert something into you too, my dear Naruto. _The vampire thought as he licked his lips lustfully. With a smirk, he leaned forward and pressed on 'Tomato Juice' as his choice of beverage.

Ah, that caught his mate's attention, as Naruto turned to glare at the person who had interrupted him in getting a packet of milk. And what a lovely glare it was, as intense sky blue eyes looked into Sasuke's dark orbs. The vampire leaned forward to proclaim "Mine". Just as Sasuke was about to stake his claim on his mate with a kiss, he was suddenly shoved away.

_Which imbecile dared to touch him, Sasuke Uchiha, so rudely and roughly! _

SASUKE-NARUTO-SASUKE-NARUTO- SASUKE-NARUTO-SASUKE-NARUTO

A/N: Well, the road to true love isn't so easy, dear Sasuke. Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out who pushed our resident vampire away from Naruto. Perhaps it's one of those supernatural competitors that Alice mentioned? Hmm…

In the next few chapters, many different supernatural creatures are going to crawl out of the woodwork, fighting for Naruto's affections. There will be dog-demons like ones from 'Inuyasha', soul reapers like those from 'Bleach', wizards like the wand magic wielders from 'Harry Potter', humans with devil-fruit abilities from 'One Piece' and many more. Let me know if you have a particular character you want to be included in the battle for Naruto's delicious little ho…ahem…I mean for Naruto's love. *_cough_*

Like Alice says, 'It's gonna be fuuuuuuuuuun!'


	3. Kiba Inuzuka

Warning: There will be male/male pairings, and it will be Naruto x Sasuke and Naruto x Others (Yet to be decided)

A/N: Many thanks for your reviews and here are my answers to your questions. Yes, I did model Sasuke after one of the 'Twilight' vampires so he will be sparkling in the sun. Good thing Konoha has dreary, cloudy weather like the town of Forks, eh? I got the idea of dog demons from 'Inuyasha'. Legolas from 'Lord of the Rings'? hmm…nice idea! I can already see one of the 'Naruto' characters being a wonderful elf…

"_Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." _

Chapter 3: Kiba Inuzuka

Kiba Inuzuka has always been a pretty normal kind of teenager, one of the jocks you would see in a typical high school setting. He grew up in a family of three with his mom and older sister ever since his dad died five years ago. Their family had a vet clinic, well, the only one in Konoha really, and they lived a comfortable lifestyle where Kiba wanted for nothing in particular. Not that he was spoiled, for his mom was quick to put him in place whenever he was thought to have stepped a toe out of line.

With his friendly and open nature, Kiba had a large circle of friends and he being the quarterback in the school's football team assured his popularity. So it was to his surprise when on his seventeenth birthday, July 7th that his mom sat him down in the dining room and spoke to him seriously about the family's true history. It was a conversation that changed his life – his seemingly normal life was just a farce, a façade to hide the Inuzuka clan's real nature.

They were descended from dog demons. DOG DEMONS! Kiba screamed silently in his mind. It took a hard slap to wake him up from the daze he didn't even know he had fallen into. His mom continued with her explanation.

"On every Inuzuka's seventeenth birthday, the age of maturity for our clan mates, he will gain facial marks to signify his demon origins. Now I don't want you to freak out when you see these marks, I will teach you how to hide them using our special brand of dog demon magic."

According to his mom, dog demons live a veeeeeeeery long life, up to hundreds of years. A large number of them had gone off into the wild, avoiding the polluted civilizations and populated towns, preferring the clean, untainted forests. Kiba's family were one of the few rare ones that could suppressed their sense of smell enough to live comfortably with the humans. That was one of the things that would develop on his seventeenth birthday – his sense of smell would be amplified and he will have to learn how to control it.

Another thing that would awaken in Kiba upon his age of maturity is his mating instincts. Now that he is an adult (in dog demons' terms), he will have the ability recognize potential mating partners via his sense of smell.

His kind are pack creatures, so there isn't one 'single soul mate'; rather there will be an Beta that could be one of his mates who will serve as his second-in-command, and an Omega who will bear his pups. His mom elaborated further – there is no need for Kiba to stick to any one particular gender; if he so desires, he could go for both a female and male as his mates.

He flushed a cherry-red when he heard this bit – though popular, Kiba is also a loyal, faithful lover…in fact he would be one if he had the chance. Till now, he had never dated, though not for lack of choice that's for sure. He just hasn't met anyone who makes him feel passionate enough to engage in a relationship. Well, now that his mom was sorta encouraging him to go out there and get partners of either or both genders…that was really…something…

A flash of golden locks and blue eyes crossed his mind briefly. Who was that? The tantalizing image came and went too quickly for Kiba to recognize…but it did seem somewhat familiar.

The rest of his birthday was spent in a haze of amazement, as he was educated thoroughly on his origins, nature and duties. And he thought he was gonna be passing his seventeenth birthday with the usual cake, family feast, followed by movies and drinks with friends. There goes his normal life. Goodbye to normalcy and hello to the _weird. _

Despite the strange day he had, he fell asleep easily and woke on his usual time to get prepared for school. New morning rituals were added – he had to conceal the red, triangular facial marks before he left the house. He has yet to fully master how to suppress his sense of smell, so he had a mask over his nose and mouth. If anybody asks, he'll just claim to have contracted flu or something.

Kiba arrived early to his first class. Some of the girls in his class were making a fuss about a new kid that's joining today. He shrugged and was about to take his seat by the door when his sensitive nose detected something wonderful…a delicious scent of sunshine, freshly cut grass and musky sandalwood. He walked out of the classroom and followed the scent, nose twitching and heart pounding with excitement. Was this how one of his potential mates would smell like? Who is it?

His nose and legs led him to the only vending machine on this level…and his vision turned red as his instincts screamed at him to remove the unnatural being away from his mate. Dashing forward with his dog-demon enhanced speed, he shoved the dark-haired creature away from Naruto, away from tainting the blond's beautiful scent with his stench of dead things.

What the hell does this pale faced bastard think he's doing to his mate?!

SASUKE-NARUTO-SASUKE-NARUTO- SASUKE-NARUTO-SASUKE-NARUTO

A/N: I know, I know it's a short chapter, but it was kinda a good place to end it. Next up: Confrontations. Who will emerge the winner? The experienced vampire or the young, virile dog-demon who just came into maturity? Or maybe neither of them will win?

Well, in the next chapter there will be someone else getting into the heat of the battle, someone close to Naruto that the blue-eyed teenager would never imagine to turn up in that kind of _form. _Guess who?


End file.
